Family photos don’t need to feel like a performance. They don’t need to be perfect. And they definitely don’t need to involve bribery, threats, or whispered panic in the car on the way there.
The goal is simple: help everyone arrive feeling calm, connected, and themselves. When kids feel safe and parents feel grounded, the photos naturally follow.
Here’s how I recommend prepping your kids (and yes, your spouse too) in a way that sets us up for genuine moments and a really good experience.
1. Tell Kids What to Expect (but keep it simple)
Kids do best when they know what’s coming. A little heads up goes a long way.
A few days before your session, try something like:
“We’re going to take pictures together. We’ll walk around, play a bit, and hang out as a family. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be you.”
Avoid framing it as something they need to perform for. No “You need to smile” or “Please behave.” That pressure tends to backfire.
Instead, let it feel like a normal family outing with a camera tagging along.
2. Don’t Overhype It
I know it’s tempting (as a mom and photographer I really have to fight this urge… But when we overhype the session, kids feel it. Big expectations can turn into big emotions or nervousness.
Think calm confidence instead of excitement.
“This will be fun” lands better than “THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT DAY.”
Ways you CAN hype it:
- tell your kids I can’t wait to meet them and if we haven’t met before tell them they can call me Miss Em (or Em, Mrs Brumwell, etc whatever your fam prefers).
- for older kids, tell them that I love jokes and silly faces so they can practice some if they want
- for little kids, you can help them pick out a toy or stuffy to bring along
3. Prioritize Rest and Full Bellies
This one matters more than almost anything else.
If possible:
- Schedule naps as close to the session as you can
- Eat a decent meal within 90 minutes of your session start time
- Offer water right before we start
A tired or hungry kid isn’t a bad kid. They’re just a kid having a hard moment. We plan around that and that’s why I bring snacks 😉
4. Let Go of the Idea of “Good Behavior”
Your child does not need to be on their best behavior to be photographed beautifully.
Wiggly hands, curious exploring, clinging to you, needing breaks… let me tell you it is ALL normal and does not phase me one bit. If a kid needs some space, we will take it! Your session is not the time for bribes or punishments, just playful redirection whenever possible. I will read the needs of your family and adjust the session length accordingly <3
Some of the most meaningful images come from:
- A child needing reassurance
- A parent scooping them up
- A quiet moment to reset
Connection always photographs better than forced compliance.
5. Prep Your Spouse Without Making It a Thing
This one’s for you.
Most spouses aren’t worried about the photos. They’re worried about feeling awkward or doing it “wrong.” (Or, let’s be honest, having it take foreverrrrrrrrr on a football Saturday).
A simple reassurance helps:
“You don’t need to know what to do. Em will guide us. Just focus on the kids and me.”
“Her sessions aren’t timed, and she shoots quickly. Just relax and let this be a time for us to enjoy our kids and our family.”
I’ll take care of the rest.
No forced smiles. No stiff posing. Just natural interaction and gentle direction when needed.
6. Trust the Process (even when it feels messy)
Some sessions start slow. Some kids warm up halfway through. Some moments feel chaotic in real time.
That doesn’t mean it’s not working.
I’m always watching for:
- Little glances
- Hands reaching for hands
- The way your child leans into you
Those in between moments are where the magic lives. Most sessions include at least one meltdown or out of control moment (but you’d never know it from my Insta feed would you? 😉 If your child is putting on a forced smile, let me work to get their natural glow. Sometimes if you walk a little bit away they feel less pressured to perform.
A Final Encouragement
You don’t need perfect cooperation.
You don’t need everyone smiling at once.
You don’t need to apologize for your kids.
You don’t need bribes or threats.
You just need to show up, love them as they are, and let the rest unfold.
Those are the images you’ll want to remember.
With you every step of the way,
Em
